Hi Family,

I wanted to share this with you and I hope you will read it - only takes a few minutes. I like Pamela's way of living and sharing her spiritual life without being preachy. Also, of particular interest to Aaron and Sarah may be the link to the website Our Children Ourselves. I haven't looked at it yet but if you get a chance, let me know if there's anything you found useful.

Much love

Maya

From: Pamela Haines
To: pamela haines
Sent: Sunday, December 21, 2008 9:25:24 PM
Subject: Pamela's column #75 Cleaning, decorating, gift-giving

Dear all,
It's the winter solstice tonight. I love it that tomorrow there will be
more light, and the next day even more. And I wish you well in this holiday
season that can be so wonderful and so hard.
This column came to me on the trolley this morning. It was a gift to
me, and I hope it might be a gift to you.
Love,
Pamela



Cleaning, decorating, gift giving

I love the December evening when we gather at a friend¹s house, pack into
every space in the living and dining rooms, and pour ourselves into bringing
Handel¹s Messiah to life. I¹m filled up with beautiful music, and it¹s one
of those gifts that keeps on giving; the music makes its home inside my head
and I keep hearing it for days. As I reflected on what a good choice this
had been about what I wanted in my head, I started to consider how else I
can pay attention to that space.

I already think about the movies, books, and TV I consume with an eye toward
what will remain in my head. What scenes and words, what kinds of
assumptions about human nature and the world we live in, will linger?

I remember wise things that I¹ve heard about this: ³There is both a wolf and
a dove inside each of us. Which will grow? The one that is fed.² ³Hanging
on to resentment is like giving yourself poison and hoping the other person
will die.² It¹s been a thrill to discover that when I start down a path of
resentment inside my head these days, I can often notice it happening,
remember that I don¹t want to go there, and get back on a path of my own
choosing. My inside space is so much cleaner as a result.

Then there¹s the question of other things I might want to add to that space,
to make it an even more inviting place to live. In a children¹s book I came
across recently, a child says: ³Dad believes that the things of nature are
a gift. And that in return, we must give something back. We must give
thanks.² I like being thankful for the sky and the earth as I walk down the
street. My commute goes better when I remember to offer a brief bless and
keep prayer for each person who gets on or off the trolley.

When I focus my attention more on what inclines me toward hope, and less on
what tips me toward despair, it¹s easier to think well about what to do.
It¹s like there¹s less stuff lying around inside to trip me up. (And while I
may need to look straight at despair at times, I always know where to find
it.)

This way of thinking puts housekeeping and interior decorating in a whole
new light. I¹ve never been big on pouring resources into making my external
house beautiful, but I realize that I care deeply about the space inside my
head. I would choose to clean out everything that hinders me from acting
with love and power in the present. I would choose to create lots of space
and light. And I can¹t imagine a better gift than one that enhances that
love, power, space and light.





Some things that have given me hope recently:
Barack Obama
The possibility that our country will actually address the problem of global
warming.
More and more US city dwellers getting their food directly from farmers by
buying a share of their harvest.
The quiet peace and reconciliation work that is being done in Kenya in the
aftermath of much violence.




Introducing: www.ourchildrenourselves.org, a home for all the parenting
writing I've done over the past 20 years.

For earlier columns, go to www.pamelascolumn.blogspot.com.
(If the background is too dark to read, I hope you can get a computer whiz
to help--and let me know what you figured out! When I go there on my Mac
via Safari, it's fine.)

Check out www.startguide.org. START: a way to study and work together with
others to create a better world.

Party in SoCal

Hey fam!

So here are some pics from the Qualcomm's end of year party.

Andrea won big. Unfortunately it was fake money :( ... but we're ready to go back to Vegas and make millions now ;)

space

Breakfast

Mick & I got our hands on some FREE studio time at Flashpoint Acedemy with an old high school friend of mine. I shall post the new track up as soon as it goes through final mix down.

Chill Town skyline, en route to meeting with Aaron & Maya at the 12th St. Beach.

Burnt up/wrecked Civic V6 on Harlem.

Hood Foot Locker on Madison Ave.

Slingboxin'

What's up, Chicago? I've got all the updates from Tommy now here in the deep Southwest. Thanks, fam!

No Going Back

Natalia tries her first ice cream cone on a perfect August day by Buckingham Fountain. She's hooked.

HG on the radio? Whaaat??

the fellas and I networked a radio gig out here in San Diego. its through twelvez.com and DJ Mada. we went diggin at a local record shop, met him, and the rest is history. check out the show tonight (august 13th) from 9-12 (11-2am midwestern) for an exclusive interview with us and we're also playing some of our music...if you can't, we'll have it recorded and i'll have my stocking stuffers for xmas! hehe. peace & love. npj

btw_i absolutely love this pic!

http://www.twelvez.com/

Obama

Aaron & Cornell @ the Elphant & Castle in Illadelph.

Proof

Nathaniel asleep on the couch and Mick on the floor. It's true ... they made it to San Diego.

Got more wedding pics

We got our pics back! So far Fuquan has posted some on Facebook. We'll send a link to more later. Love you all

Nas Petitions Against Fox

http://www.blacknews.com/blackcelebritygossip/nas101.shtml
and guess who was there to deliver the petition with Nas (and others)?
One of our very own....

Dreams from My Father: A Story of Race and Inheritance by Barack Obama

I finally finished reading this! I have been reading it on and off when I have time for the past year probably. It is really good. I haven't read much for pleasure in a long time and I really got into it before Spring Semester and then in the past couple of weeks. I think we can all relate to his story and so will find a personal connection in reading it. Hope you check it out.

The Kindergarchy - interesting article

Hi all,

A friend sent me this article regarding the current state of childrearing. The underlying message is that kids are being smothered, and we are producing (and have produced) armies of self-important brats who need constant reassurances and coddling. Parts of the article seemed right on; other parts made me sad: like when the author said he didn't hug his parents a lot.

Thoughts? http://www.weeklystandard.com/Content/Public/Articles/000/000/015/161yutrk.asp?pg=1

-- Sarah

Testing the (Warm, Blue) Waters

Hello Joseph Family,

For years now, we have toyed with the idea of escaping a typical Christmas and heading to a beautiful beachfront villa instead. Aaron, Natalia and I LOVE the idea, and would like to do it this year if at all possible. Yet, this is not cheap - we would all have to scrimp and save for a week in paradise. But, I think it could be worth it!

Here are some basics:

Dates: 12/26 or 1/2 (Friday to Friday) (HIGH SEASON Holiday dates, so villas are pricey. We could save by going 2 wks later or earlier, but these really are awesome dates)

Where: Recommendations include:

Key West
Costa Rica
Puerto Rico (Vieques Island gets top marks for beauty, nature and serenity - very rustic)
Tobago
Barbados
Bermuda
Towns South of Cancun

Villa Websites: We need to book soon, as the holidays fill up fast!

http://www.vrbo.com/; http://www.locogringo.com/; http://www.islandhideaways.com/
http://www.caribbeanway.com/ http://www.villascaribe.com/

What:

• At least 4 separate bedrooms (one with 2 beds) if we are all in. It should sleep at least 8 adults comfortably + Natalia Jane.



• Private Pool, beach access, a good kitchen and excellent grilling/BBQ space.



• This is not asking too much - many villas have this. Some also have maid service and cooking that comes with the place.



• Some have Internet service as well.
  

Cost:

• Airfare could be $1000+ per person.



• Villas could be about $4000 - $5500 per week + taxes, equaling about $1000 to $1375 per group (Maya + Fu, Bert + Andrea, Rose and Nate, Aaron + Sarah). The villas actually work out to be a reasonable deal, about $160/night per couple. That is a great hotel room rate!!

How: We would do no Christmas gifts at all, right? That would be a helpful start to balancing the costs.

What now?

• Let us know if you are in or out.



• Look for airfare deals.



• Weigh in on location.



• Look for Villas ASAP and point out options.



• Ask friends for recommendations.

We can't wait to hear from you!

Love,

Sarah, Aaron, and Natalia

Maya + Fuquan

I just uploaded the photos we took from Maya and Fuquan's wedding a couple weeks back. Sorry it took so long --> we are having router problems. Makes wireless internet ANGRY!

It was a great time. Maya & Fuquan are a fantastic couple. I really enjoyed seeing everybody and celebrating with you all. See the pics here.

Books

Here is my take on a few recent reads. Please add your take on these books and any others that you loved, liked or loathed.

The Memory Keeper's Daughter
by Kim Edwards (401 pages; published 2005)
This was an impulse airport purchase. I fell for the obvious publisher's trap of naming this lesser book in the same manner as the exceptional Chicagoan-authored The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffeneger. In short, skip this book unless you have loads of extra time.

Set in the mid 60s, it chronicles an uptight doctor and his young bride's journey with pregnancy, childbirth, and life thereafter. Mrs. Uptight Doctor delivers twins in an emergency delivery, but is unaware in her drugged state. One twin, the son, makes the grade. A little girl with Downs is sent off with the loyal attending nurse to deposit in a state-run home. The nurse turns out to be loyal to the Doctor, but not always obedient.

The core of the story seemed to have potential, but the main Doctor character takes far too long to redeem himself in any way, and his deep-seeded reasons for being a cold perfectionist don't quite add up. Some of the character development is impressive and unexpected, but other key characters are cliche and uninteresting (like the twin son). I found myself reading very fast to finish the book, and the conclusion was only partially satisfying.

Grade: C-



Kindred
by Octavia Butler (Published 1979; 264 pages)
This is my favorite book. I read it first sophomore year of college and have re-read it several times since; not yet has another booked knocked this out of #1. It involves time travel, history, drama, and a strong central female character, Dana.

It is 1976 and Dana is settling into both her new Southern California home and her interracial marriage to a white man named Kevin when history yanks Dana back in time to the antebellum South. One of her ancestors has the ability to call Dana to him when he is in danger, forcing her to live for periods of time as a plantation slave. The plot seems shaky, but Butler (R.I.P.) executed it with power and grace. You become very connected to Dana, feeling her triumph and terror and - somewhat uncomfortably - rooting for her to exact brutal revenge at times. You will read this book in 3 days tops.

Butler's female characters are always impressive, strong, smart and human. If you have never tried science fiction, Butler is a great bridge and Kindred would be the perfect first.

Grade: A

Virtual Living Room?

Hello. For a while now I have wanted to start a Joseph family blog, a place where we can share pictures, links to stories on the web we find interesting, and post musings on the great ideas we all come up with.

We could think of it as a virtual living room. I plan to set up accounts for everybody, or there may be one log-in that we all share. Not too sure yet, but we will sort it out. So, on that note, let me post a couple photos.

You can see more at my flickr page

I think this will be fun; I hope you all will contribute.

All the best,

Aaron